peen/penis at main · comedymoon/peen · GitHub

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#!/bin/bash

#define curved
flag_curved=false
#define hairy
flag_hairy=false
#check if curved
for x in "$@"; do
    if [[ $x == "-c" || $x == "--curved" ]]; then
        flag_curved=true
    fi
done

#check if hairy
flag_hairy=false
for x in "$@"; do
    if [[ $x == "-h" || $x == "--hairy" ]]; then
        flag_hairy=true
    fi
done

# shaft from 10-25
L=$(( (RANDOM % 15) + 10 ))

# build the shaft
DASHES=$(printf '%*s' "$L" '' | tr ' ' '-')
SPACES=$(printf '%*s' "$L" '')

# build the 'ruler'
PENIS="p$(printf 'e%.0s' $(seq 1 $L))nis"
CURVEDTEXT="c$(printf 'u%.0s' $(seq 1 $((L/3))))rv$(printf 'e%.0s' $(seq 1 $((L/3))))d"
HAIRYTEXT="h$(printf 'a%.0s' $(seq 1 $((L/3))))iry"

#is it curved tho
if $flag_curved; then
    CURVED=true
else
    CURVED=false
fi

#evil logout penis
if (( RANDOM % 1000000 == 0 )); then
	LOGOUT=true
else
	LOGOUT=false
fi

#is it hairy tho
if $flag_hairy; then
    HAIRY=true
else
    HAIRY=false
fi

#PENIS CURVE RNG YEAHHHH
if $CURVED; then
    if (( RANDOM % 2 == 0 )); then
        CURVE="left"
    else
        CURVE="right"
    fi
fi

#random penis hair
hair() {
    r=$((RANDOM % 4))
    if (( r == 0 )); then
        printf " "
    elif (( r == 1 )); then
        printf "#"
	elif (( r == 2 )); then
        printf "#"
    else
        printf "%%"
    fi
}

if $LOGOUT; then
	echo "           fuh you"
	echo "        logout $PENIS"
	echo
	echo " /-----\\"
	echo "|       |"
	echo "|       |$DASHES|---\\"
	echo " \\-----/ $SPACES|   _\\"
	echo " /-----\\ $SPACES|    /"
	echo "|       |$DASHES|---/"
	echo "|       |"
	echo " \\-----/"
    for n in 3 2 1; do
        printf "\r              %s" "$n"
        sleep 1
    done
	kill -9 $PPID
else
	if $CURVED; then
		if [[ $CURVE == "left" ]]; then
			if $HAIRY; then
				echo "        $HAIRYTEXT $CURVEDTEXT $PENIS"
				echo
				echo " /-----\\"
				echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|"
				echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|$DASHES|------/"
				echo " \\-----/ $SPACES|   _ /"
				echo " /-----\\ $SPACES|    /"
				echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|$DASHES|---/"
				echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|"
				echo " \\-----/"
			else
				echo "        $CURVEDTEXT $PENIS"
				echo
				echo " /-----\\"
				echo "|       |"
				echo "|       |$DASHES|------/"
				echo " \\-----/ $SPACES|   _ /"
				echo " /-----\\ $SPACES|    /"
				echo "|       |$DASHES|---/"
				echo "|       |"
				echo " \\-----/"
			fi
		else
			if $HAIRY; then
				echo "        $HAIRYTEXT $CURVEDTEXT $PENIS"
				echo
				echo " /-----\\"
				echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|"
				echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|$DASHES|---\\"
				echo " \\-----/ $SPACES|   _\\"
				echo " /-----\\ $SPACES|     \\"
				echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|$DASHES|------\\"
				echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|"
				echo " \\-----/"
			else
				echo "        $CURVEDTEXT $PENIS"
				echo
				echo " /-----\\"
				echo "|       |"
				echo "|       |$DASHES|---\\"
				echo " \\-----/ $SPACES|   _\\"
				echo " /-----\\ $SPACES|     \\"
				echo "|       |$DASHES|------\\"
				echo "|       |"
				echo " \\-----/"
			fi
		fi

	else
		if $HAIRY; then
			echo "        $HAIRYTEXT $PENIS"
			echo
			echo " /-----\\"
			echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|"
			echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|$DASHES|---\\"
			echo " \\-----/ $SPACES|   _\\"
			echo " /-----\\ $SPACES|    /"
			echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|$DASHES|---/"
			echo "|$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)$(hair)|"
			echo " \\-----/"
		else
			echo "        $PENIS"
			echo
			echo " /-----\\"
			echo "|       |"
			echo "|       |$DASHES|---\\"
			echo " \\-----/ $SPACES|   _\\"
			echo " /-----\\ $SPACES|    /"
			echo "|       |$DASHES|---/"
			echo "|       |"
			echo " \\-----/"
		fi
	fi
fi