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关于女朋友的使用说明书
【品名】女朋友
【通用名】女朋友,对象,GF
【化学名称】未婚女性
【成分】水、蛋白质、脂肪、核糖核酸、碳水化合物及少量矿物质、气味幽香。
【理化性质】酸性;可分为一价(嫁)、二价(嫁)、三价(嫁)...............n价(嫁)。易溶于甜言、蜜语;遇钻石、名车、豪宅熔点低,难溶于穷布丁。
【性状】本品为可乐装凹凸异形片,表面光洁,涂有各种化妆品、对钻石、铂金有强烈的亲和力;羞涩时泛红,生气时泛绿,随时间推移表面会出现黄斑,起皱,但不影响继续使用。
【功能主治】主治单身恐惧症,对失恋和相思病有明显效果,亦可以用于烧淘洗买,带孩子。
【副作用】妻管严,耳根软,视疲劳,行为受阻等。使用不当,严重不良反应者,可致皮肉受损。
【用法服量】一生一片
【禁忌症】公开服用两片或用两片以上
【注意事项】肾功能不全者慎用
【规格】35千克至n千克,片重超标不影响使用。
【贮藏】常温下保存。避免女性成群、单独帅哥相处。严禁在外过夜。
【包装】各种时装、鞋帽、首饰、手袋,随季节变化而更换
【有效期】终身有效(视满意程度而定,最长可达一生,最短两三天亦可失效)。
【批准文号】见结婚证内页
【生产日期】见身份证
【生产企业】岳父岳母合同
【特别提示】
1.未婚男性请在服用前仔细阅读本说明书并按说明书规定或婚姻专家指导下使用
2.对本品过敏者慎用。
3.正在服用其他类似药物且尚未停用者禁用。
4.本品大部分为非处类药物,亦有少量处类药物,但登记购买前须出示若干有效证件。
【备注】本品具有唯一性,不可复制,好好珍惜,非试用品、赠品。决定使用,责任自负。
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