diff --git a/src/trace_processor/perfetto_sql/stdlib/android/critical_blocking_calls.sql b/src/trace_processor/perfetto_sql/stdlib/android/critical_blocking_calls.sql
index aad1d9f21b2..3b26f99ca28 100644
--- a/src/trace_processor/perfetto_sql/stdlib/android/critical_blocking_calls.sql
+++ b/src/trace_processor/perfetto_sql/stdlib/android/critical_blocking_calls.sql
@@ -67,16 +67,17 @@ AS (
   OR $slice_name GLOB 'DrawFrames*'
   OR $slice_name GLOB 'Texture upload*'
   OR (
-    NOT ($slice_name GLOB '*Choreographer*')
-    AND NOT ($slice_name GLOB '*Input*')
-    AND NOT ($slice_name GLOB '*input*')
-    AND NOT ($slice_name GLOB 'android.os.Handler: #*')
+    -- Handler pattern heuristics
+    $slice_name GLOB '*$*'
     AND (
-      -- Handler pattern heuristics
       $slice_name GLOB '*Handler: *$*'
       OR $slice_name GLOB '*.*.*: *$*'
       OR $slice_name GLOB '*.*$*: #*'
     )
+    AND NOT ($slice_name GLOB '*Choreographer*')
+    AND NOT ($slice_name GLOB '*Input*')
+    AND NOT ($slice_name GLOB '*input*')
+    AND NOT ($slice_name GLOB 'android.os.Handler: #*')
   )
 );
 
@@ -87,11 +88,42 @@ RETURNS BOOL
 AS
 SELECT _is_relevant_blocking_call_expr!($name);
 
+-- Distinct slice names that match `_is_relevant_blocking_call_expr!`, along
+-- with their standardized name and flags used by downstream tables.
+-- Evaluating `android_standardize_slice_name` (which calls 3 nested Perfetto
+-- functions) once per distinct matching name rather than once per `thread_slice`
+-- row avoids redundant per-row function call overhead.
+CREATE PERFETTO TABLE _android_critical_blocking_call_names AS
+SELECT
+  name AS raw_name,
+  android_standardize_slice_name(name) AS standardized_name,
+  name GLOB 'DrawFrames*' AS is_draw_frames,
+  name GLOB 'drawLayer *' AS is_draw_layer
+FROM (
+  SELECT DISTINCT name FROM slice WHERE _is_relevant_blocking_call_expr!(name)
+);
+
+-- Materialized thread slices matching a relevant blocking call name.
+CREATE PERFETTO TABLE _android_critical_blocking_call_slices AS
+SELECT
+  s.id,
+  n.standardized_name,
+  n.is_draw_frames,
+  n.is_draw_layer,
+  s.ts,
+  s.dur,
+  s.process_name,
+  s.utid,
+  s.upid
+FROM thread_slice AS s
+JOIN _android_critical_blocking_call_names AS n
+  ON s.name = n.raw_name;
+
 CREATE PERFETTO TABLE _android_critical_blocking_calls_draw_frames AS
 SELECT utid, id, ts, dur
-FROM thread_slice
+FROM _android_critical_blocking_call_slices
 WHERE
-  name GLOB 'DrawFrames*'
+  is_draw_frames
 ORDER BY
   ts;
 
@@ -118,7 +150,7 @@ WITH
       s.id
   )
 SELECT
-  android_standardize_slice_name(s.name) AS name,
+  s.standardized_name AS name,
   s.ts,
   iif(
     wait_for_buffer_release.dur IS NULL
@@ -128,7 +160,7 @@ SELECT
   ) AS dur,
   s.id,
   s.process_name,
-  thread.utid,
+  s.utid,
   s.upid,
   s.ts
   + iif(
@@ -137,11 +169,8 @@ SELECT
     s.dur,
     MAX(s.dur - wait_for_buffer_release.dur, 0)
   ) AS ts_end
-FROM thread_slice AS s
-JOIN thread USING (utid)
+FROM _android_critical_blocking_call_slices AS s
 LEFT JOIN _wait_for_buffer_release_dur AS wait_for_buffer_release USING (id)
-WHERE
-  _is_relevant_blocking_call_expr!(s.name)
 UNION ALL
 -- Add a summation of all drawLayer slices without the individual layer name
 SELECT
@@ -150,13 +179,12 @@ SELECT
   s.dur,
   s.id,
   s.process_name,
-  thread.utid,
+  s.utid,
   s.upid,
   s.ts + s.dur AS ts_end
-FROM thread_slice AS s
-JOIN thread USING (utid)
+FROM _android_critical_blocking_call_slices AS s
 WHERE
-  s.name GLOB 'drawLayer *'
+  s.is_draw_layer
 UNION ALL
 -- As binder names are not included in slice table, extract these directly from the
 -- android_binder_txns table.