Halloween Costumes.txt

Hello, fellow fright fiends. A most spooky greeting to you and yours. Hello. If you're watching this, yours is presumably now someone else's.
Okay, so, if you're anything like me, this year you found the perfect couples' costume. But apparently you weren't the perfect couple...according to him.
But hey, Halloween is all about masks, so put on your best "I'm doing okay" mask and let's DIY...do it yourself. You're a "you" now, not a "we". It's no more "us".

What's April O'Neil without her Michelangelo? A nameless extra from the movie Outbreak! All you need is gloves, duct tape, and a plastic bag, and you're rolling in '90s movie references. Plus, if you run into him and his new girlfriend, that plastic bag on her is going to come in really handy.

So, your Jon Snow melted. No problem, your furry Ygritte costume easily becomes an adorable tauntaun. All you need is two old bananas, and you're ready to become some new emotionally distant man child sleeping bag...or doormat!

This is serious, would have been adorable..."would have", past tense. Let's say you've got peanut butter. Easy peasy, sadness release me. Glue some bananas and bacon on there, and you're an open face all on a sandwich.
Now, let's say you've got jelly. All night everyone's going to be asking you: "Where is peanut butter?". You'll be, like, "With her! What could she give you that I can't? ... An STD?" ... I'm sorry. You guys seem really happy together.
To anyone who says "where's the peanut butter?", I say this: "Actually, the jam sandwich was popular with working-class Brits after 1880, when they lifted the sugar tax and jam was cheaper to make."
Or just go bottomless. If anyone asks, just say: "I'm here to jam out with my clam out!"... I don't know.

But, of course, not every couples' costume can be re-purposed, so, sometimes you need a plan B.

I'm beautiful.

Or just be a ghost. Use the sheet that you two made love in, and be a ghost! ...Like he was, after you two made love. Cold, distant, deadly quiet.

- Effy? Is that you again?
- No, it's me, your new girlfriend.
- I'm his girlfriend.
- What? No! She's an impostor! Quick, you have to kill one of us!
- Where did you get this?!?
- Stole it off a cop's belt.

Hi, I'm Emily from CollegeHumor. If you liked that, click here for more videos, here to subscribe, or click me to see what I look like without Photoshop. Just kidding, it's the same! I woke up like this! Also, I'm wearing makeup and a push-up bra, and a wig.