"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." - Douglas Adams "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas Adams "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - Douglas Adams "There is an art... or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams “You live and learn. At any rate, you live.” - Douglas Adams "If you are going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill "Not all those who wander are lost." - J. R. R. Tolkein "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” - Wayne Gretzky "Art is never finished, only abandoned." - Leonardo da Vinci "I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people." - Isaac Newton "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Edison "Science, my lad, is made up of mistakes, but they are mistakes which it is useful to make because they lead little by little to the truth." - Jules Verne "Great geniuses have the shortest biographies." - Ralph Waldo Emerson "Pretty good. Pretttttttty, pretttttttttty, pretttttty good." - Larry David "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg "I haven't slept for 10 days, because that would be too long." - Mitch Hedberg "A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer." - Mitch Hedberg "Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!" - Mitch Hedberg "Is a Hippopotamus a Hippopotamus or just a really cool Opotamus?" - Mitch Hedberg "Every picture is of you when you were younger, that's how pictures work." - Mitch Hedberg "I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot." - Chris Rock "When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative." - Chris Rock "The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough." - Louis C.K. "Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy." - Louis C.K. "What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die, they just don't involve you." - Louis C.K. "Misery is wasted on the miserable." - Louis C.K. "You know the only thing happier than a three legged dog? A four legged dog." - Louis C.K.